Day 29: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
February 10, 2013... Sometimes things happen in a way that you don’t expect. The day was coming to an end by the time we met with the funeral director. We were still numb and filled with disbelief about Shaniel’s death. It was impossible to comprehend… how this could ever happen to us.
We were sitting on some chairs surrounding a coffee table with funeral books, of all things, on them. Shaniel’s dad, myself, and her brother and sisters were there. The funeral director started the conversation by asking us to tell him about Shaniel. A whole gamet of Shaniel’s personality came to mind and I wanted to scream out that she really wasn’t gone. Talking in past tense was so unfair. She was alive, talking to us, less than 24 hours earlier. How could we possibly talk about her memories! It was the hardest thing I think I have ever had to go through.
We were angry, sobbing, overcome with grief and disbelief. Many harsh words towards Shaniel’s killer, her own husband… who was suppose to cherish and protect her, came hurling out of our mouths. How could he!
But then… the impossible happened. While trying to plan Shaniel’s funeral, a question came up that required a response from Scott’s family. His brother was called. The phone was put on speaker so we could all hear the conversation. I can’t even remember what it was about. But I know one thing… a miracle happened that I can’t explain away. While the funeral director was talking on the phone, a very strong feeling and voice entered my heart, my bosom, my mind… and the thought came out… literally. “Tell them you love them.“ Out of my mouth came the words “WE LOVE YOU!” Right then, in that very second, all barriers between our two families were broken down. Those three powerful words changed everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! Yes, we were still crying, but our anger disappeared and forgiveness entered in. The healing balm of the Savior’s atonement started to work immediately.
It was an immediate physical, mental, and emotional transformation that took place in all our hearts and souls. Each one of us witnessed it. I don’t know how to explain it… other than if you believe in a loving God… and you allow Him to save your soul (for us it was the agony, grief, and despair of losing a child, a sister), He does work the miracle. All our pain, our grief, our sorrow was laid at His feet and the Comforter wrapped His loving arms around us… giving us the peace, hope, love, and forgiveness than can heal all broken hearts with time.
Shaniel has always been a kind, compassionate, and forgiving person. Why would she expect anything less from us? I have no doubt that because we listened, heeded, and followed the voice of the Lord’s spirit at the very moment we needed to, it has brought our family the much needed protection from the adversary, strength to endure, and peace of mind to move forward with faith, love, hope and forgiveness. We still have our days of anger and despair, but they are short lived. Mostly, our days are filled with the promise of healing. We are blessed.
Written by Shaniel's mother, Carol
October 29, 2013
February 10, 2013... Sometimes things happen in a way that you don’t expect. The day was coming to an end by the time we met with the funeral director. We were still numb and filled with disbelief about Shaniel’s death. It was impossible to comprehend… how this could ever happen to us.
We were sitting on some chairs surrounding a coffee table with funeral books, of all things, on them. Shaniel’s dad, myself, and her brother and sisters were there. The funeral director started the conversation by asking us to tell him about Shaniel. A whole gamet of Shaniel’s personality came to mind and I wanted to scream out that she really wasn’t gone. Talking in past tense was so unfair. She was alive, talking to us, less than 24 hours earlier. How could we possibly talk about her memories! It was the hardest thing I think I have ever had to go through.
We were angry, sobbing, overcome with grief and disbelief. Many harsh words towards Shaniel’s killer, her own husband… who was suppose to cherish and protect her, came hurling out of our mouths. How could he!
But then… the impossible happened. While trying to plan Shaniel’s funeral, a question came up that required a response from Scott’s family. His brother was called. The phone was put on speaker so we could all hear the conversation. I can’t even remember what it was about. But I know one thing… a miracle happened that I can’t explain away. While the funeral director was talking on the phone, a very strong feeling and voice entered my heart, my bosom, my mind… and the thought came out… literally. “Tell them you love them.“ Out of my mouth came the words “WE LOVE YOU!” Right then, in that very second, all barriers between our two families were broken down. Those three powerful words changed everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! Yes, we were still crying, but our anger disappeared and forgiveness entered in. The healing balm of the Savior’s atonement started to work immediately.
It was an immediate physical, mental, and emotional transformation that took place in all our hearts and souls. Each one of us witnessed it. I don’t know how to explain it… other than if you believe in a loving God… and you allow Him to save your soul (for us it was the agony, grief, and despair of losing a child, a sister), He does work the miracle. All our pain, our grief, our sorrow was laid at His feet and the Comforter wrapped His loving arms around us… giving us the peace, hope, love, and forgiveness than can heal all broken hearts with time.
Shaniel has always been a kind, compassionate, and forgiving person. Why would she expect anything less from us? I have no doubt that because we listened, heeded, and followed the voice of the Lord’s spirit at the very moment we needed to, it has brought our family the much needed protection from the adversary, strength to endure, and peace of mind to move forward with faith, love, hope and forgiveness. We still have our days of anger and despair, but they are short lived. Mostly, our days are filled with the promise of healing. We are blessed.
I captured this picture of Shaniel while playing Sardines, mom's house
Written by Shaniel's mother, Carol
October 29, 2013
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