The Rose

I have thought a lot about Angels lately. We have them around us everyday. We just have to look for them. Angles are sent from heaven to minister and comfort us on days of need. Earthly Angels attend us as they look after the sick, the weary, the lonely, and the broken-hearted.

The nurses and staff at CNS (Community Nursing Services) are earthly Angels. As I was going through pictures of Shaniel's funeral, I was drawn to the beautiful purple roses that were lovingly placed upon her casket by her colleagues and co-workers as each one gave a tribute to her life as a nurse and friend.

It moved me to tears... even after all these months. I want these earthly Angels to know how much I love and appreciate their love, compassion, kindness, and friendship for others. Especially to another angel who we lost too soon. Shaniel will be forever loved and missed!

The ROSE is used as a symbol of love and compassion. It is often the flower of choice at funerals. Shaniel's favorite color was purple and so it was a natural choice to adorn her caskets with varying colors of purple flowers and roses. 

The nursing staff at CNS (Community Nursing Services), where Shaniel worked, gave a beautiful tribute to Shaniel at her graveside, before burial. Each, with a purple rose in hand, approached the microphone and gave their portion of the tribute. They then placed their rose on her casket as a symbol of their love for her. It was felt with deep emotion and respect for her as both a colleague and friend. I will never forget the compassion and love rendered to Shaniel that day.

Here is their tribute --

Nursing is a calling, a lifestyle, a way of living. Nurses and co-workers here today honor Shaniel and her life as a nurse. Shaniel is not remembered by her years as a nurse, but by the difference she made during those years by stepping into people's lives and caring whole heartedly for her patients.

When a calming, quiet presence was all that was needed, she was there... 

In the excitement and miracle of birth or in the mystery and loss of life, she was there... 

When a silent glance could uplift a patient, family member or friend, she was there...

At those times when the unexplainable needed to be explained, she was there...

 When the situation demanded a swift foot and sharp mind, she was there...

When a gentle touch, a firm push, or an encouraging word was needed, she was there...

To witness humanity - it's beauty, in good times and bad, without judgement, she was there...

To embrace the woes of the world, willingly and offer hope, she was there...

And now, that it is time to be at the greater one's side, she is there...

Shaniel, we honor you this day and give you a white rose to symbolize our honor and appreciation for being your nursing colleague. We love and miss you. 

To be a nurse is to be an ANGEL! Shaniel had a special calling on earth... that of an Angel... to comfort the ill and afflicted, to bring peace to their souls in illness and at the end of life. She loved unconditionally, and was loved back by all who were blessed to have her as their nurse. She delivered compassion on a daily basis. She was a mender of hearts.. physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Shaniel left this life doing what she loved, and I have no doubt that she continues her mission of mending hearts in the life here-after. She is an Angel! She delivers her own roses. Not only in heaven, but here on earth. 

For me personally, Shaniel takes every opportunity to mend my broken heart by her gentle touch, love, and compassion. When I am quiet enough, I know that she is near. 

 

A special Thank you to all the nurses at CNS that so selflessly and lovingly care for the sick and weary every single day. You are earthly Angels in disguise! 

And to my Angel... Thank you for sending me Roses from heaven!

Love, Mother 

Moving forward with Grief

Here's a quote from Mitchell's Journey on grief that tells exactly how I feel.  I inserted "she" instead of "he".

"The pain of my daughter's death is just as soul crushing today as it was the day I lost her. It isn't difficult because I think about it, you see – it is difficult because it happened and she is no longer with me."

I miss Shaniel terribly and yearn to hear her voice, to hear her laughter, to hug her and tell her I love her. As much as I want her physical presence back in my life, I am also comforted by the presence of her spirit. A loving Father In Heaven sees to it that Shaniel is able to provide comfort and peace in times of need.

Just like Mitchell's father, on an airplane ride I took from the U.S. to Germany in April 2014, the gravity of losing a precious child was heavy on my mind. Flying over the ocean for many hours also gives me anxiety. I am usually too nervous to sleep, read, or even watch a movie. But I do a lot of thinking. It was late evening and the cabin lights had been dimmed. People were settling down and that is when my thoughts turned to Shaniel. I all of a sudden felt very lonely without her. Memories flooded my mind and I thought of all the things we did and were now going to miss together. I was also feeling nervous about flying. The seat next to me was empty and I was glad. Gabby people make me even more nervous.

In the quiet and dark, with just my thoughts - I was abruptly brought to my senses and felt Shaniel near. Her favorite fragrance filled the air and I felt immense peace and comfort. I was calmed and knew everything would be all right. I pictured her sitting next to me holding my hand, talking and reminding me of her love for me. She stayed for a half hour or so. I knew when she left. The distinct smell of vanilla coconut left with her. She stayed until she knew I would be ok. Shaniel visited me once again that evening while the airplane crossed the ocean.

I am so grateful for all these moments, as brief as they are. I am reassured of God's love for me. I am thankful and confident in the plan of salvation and know that death does not separate us. Even though I can not see Shaniel, I am blessed to know she is alive and well. I am blessed to know that she is given opportunities to minister and comfort me in times of need.

There are days when it is difficult to be without her. I know it will always be that way until I see her again. But moving forward with hope and faith in the Lord and His plan, puts my grief into perspective. It is a blessing to have an eternal perspective.  

Here's to a New Year filled with hope, healing and love!