This quote by Henry B. Eyring came across my news feed
today. I was in much need and want to be reminded of this truth. We can not
escape this life without mountains in front of us. Symbolically they come in
the form of obstacles, trials, sorrow, and pain. And these are just a few. When
met with the challenges and tribulations of life, we have choices to make. In
my case, losing my daughter Shaniel has been the greatest and most
heartbreaking trial of my life. The unfathomable and unspeakable happened. I
remember the feeling distinctively the moment I found out Shaniel had been
murdered by her husband. I fell upon my knees overcome with intense grief and
disbelief, dazed and shocked that this could happen to my precious daughter. I
cried out in pain. "How? How could this happen?"
Maybe it was instinct, but I remember instantly praying
fervently to God to take my pain away. I remember praying for Shaniel. I wanted
to wrap her in my arms so tightly and protect her from the fear and pain she
just endured and the confused state she surely was in. I wanted her to know I
loved her with all my heart. One last time. Her mother was there! I pleaded
with God that He would do that for me. She would feel me there. I felt
desperate and helpless. She was dead. My poor sweet innocent daughter dead.
What seemed to come to me in a flash were the words
"look up!" I had two choices to make. Sink in despair, or climb that
mountain that suddenly loomed in front of me. I chose to climb. And I climbed
hard. I climbed fast. I wanted to keep in front of that evil that wanted to
drag me back down to the bottom of the mountain. I didn't want to look back. I
deliberately chose to climb. I wanted to be on a path that would bring me
peace, comfort, safety, and protection from the adversary. I wanted to feel
God's love.
When I look back over the past year and a half since losing
Shaniel, I can see clearly that I am still climbing that mountain. There are
times when I can't seem to climb another step and I am challenged with thoughts
of anger, pain, and an endless yearning to hold my daughter again. Sometimes
it's hard to start that climb again. But I do, even if it is ever so slowly. I
am determined to do it. I am determined to reach the top. I am determined to
follow the light. I will continue to
pray continually for peace and comfort. I will consciously work to forgive, as
hard of a struggle it is for me at times. I can say without a doubt that ANGELS
have attended and given strength to my feeble knees as I have climbed many a
rocky path on the ever increasing climb. I have no doubt that Shaniel is always
there, as one of my ministering angles, to give a hand up. She surely knows the
heartache I feel.
One day... I, along with my family, will reach the top of
this mountain and will be able to look out across the canyons, the slopes, the
rugged trails, and the the peaks and know that we rose to the challenges set
before us. We chose to climb. Someday we will feel the all encompassing
Heavenly light surround us and know that God was with us, every step of the
way. We will come to understand and see more clearly the purposes of our
earthly trials and tribulations. For our entire family, on both sides of the
veil, because it is eternal.
Shaniel, my ministering Angel
This post by my mother reminds me of the weary pioneers in the Willie and Martin handcart companies. They would struggle up the snowy hill at rocky ridge, sometimes in bare feet, yet they still kept going. There were also several accounts of angels pushing them onward and even carrying them at times. They had the help of God, and these angles to help them make it through their most difficult trials.
ReplyDeleteWe too face daunting trials in our lives, though they may not be as physical, they are certainly as difficult to endure. We also have God and angels pushing us onward and carrying through our most difficult times.
Comment by daughter Kelsey
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