Facing Trials

When we lose someone we love, it challenges our faith to its very limits. There are trials and testing to endure--for us, left on earth. But I have learned so much, over the past year, that we are not left alone to bear our sorrows.  Allowing the Savior of the world to take our burdens of unimaginable sorrow--helps heal our broken hearts, gives us strength to endure the darkest hours, and gives us hope in the dawn of a brighter day.

As I was reading the Ensign, I ran across this beautiful excerpt taken from President Thomas S. Monson’s talk, (I Will Not Fail Thee, nor Forsake Thee, Oct. 2013 General Conference) that helped remind me of His love for us and that trials, even heartbreaking sorrows, have a purpose in our lives.

Prophetic Promise: Facing Trials

“Our Heavenly Father, who gives us so much to delight in, also knows that we learn and grow and become stronger as we face and survive the trials through which we must pass. We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were—better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had before. 

“This should be our purpose—to preserve and endure, yes, but also to become more spiritually refined as we make our way through sunshine and sorrow. Were it not for challenges to overcome and problems to solve, we would remain much as we are, with little or no progress toward our goal of eternal life.”

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/i-will-not-fail-thee-nor-forsake-thee?lang=eng&query=I+will+not+fail+thee,+nor+forsake+thee,+Thomas+S.+Monson,

http://www.lds.org/youth/video/i-will-not-fail-thee-nor-forsake-thee?lang=eng 

“What I the lord have spoken, I have spoken; …whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same” D&C 1:38

These prophetic words of counsel brought comfort to my soul today!

Written by Carol, Shaniel’s mother

Tender Mercies

It was exactly one week before Shaniel's death, that she called me, crying... unable to exactly pin point why. Today is February 3, one week before her death, and I am reminded of that call, once again. 

Fallen officer Cory Wride's parents were interviewed last night about their son's life, and I couldn't help but have the exact same thoughts as they did. In fact.. those same thoughts have been with me for an entire year.

When Shaniel called she said she had been crying for two weeks and couldn't shake it. She had a strong desire to be with her family, as did officer Wride.

This is an exerpt taken from the interview given by Blake Wride, Cory's father. .... "it was almost as if my son knew something bad was about to happen". He remembers a week before the shooting, his son called him while working a late night shift, saying how much he missed his family and needed to be home with them.

The next day, he invited his parents over for dinner... there was a melancholy feeling that wasn't quite normal for his son.

"I just felt that there was this, I call it this melancholy feeling, just a serious atmosphere. But now I think I can look back and I personally, everybody might feel differently than me, that that was what we've come to call the tender mercies of the Lord in helping him know, and maybe even prepare that something was coming, and it did." 

Well... that is the exact feeling I had about my phone call with Shaniel. There was a melancholy feeling about her. Something wasn't quite right. She knew it and tried to express it to me, but didn't know exactly how or what it was. She had been crying, couldn't shake it, felt homesick, and wanted to be with her family, her children.

Throughout the year I often thought about this phone call and also felt that the tender mercies of the Lord was helping her know, and even prepare that something was coming, and it did.

I find it remarkable that Saturday, her last day with her children, she got up and fixed breakfast - crepes with orange juice.  You could call it an over the top breakfast! (which she normally didn't have the time to do). She packed her children up, spent the morning at the Wave Pool, and then headed off to Emery County to enjoy a peaceful day with her family. She had a strong desire to play and spend time with her children and be near those she loved. She lived her last day doing exactly what she loved to do.

Shaniel was truly homesick, not only that day, but for the last few weeks of her life. I heard a talk, given by an LDS apostle, about a homesick feeling you sometimes get... so homesick that that it grabs you from the inside out and creates such a gnawing feeling that you can't describe it. It's so intense... you know you miss someone, something, somewhere... home! That feeling was described as homesick for that home we call heaven. The place we previously lived with our Father In Heaven. A place of love, security, and peace. I have felt that homesick feeling before. I believe Shaniel was feeling that same homesickness.

The Lord did bless her that day, and in His love, sent his tender mercies from above to prepare her for what was to come that dreadful night.

She is home... she is home once again in the loving arms of our Father In Heaven. She is with grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. She is surrounded by peace, love, comfort, and security. She is learning, growing, progressing. She is living! She is not far away. I feel her love and desire to comfort me on days I need her near. And, we will see her again!

Mother's Day Tea Party at Grandma B - 2011

Written by Shaniel's mother, Carol
February 3, 2014