As a mother, I marvel at her commitment to improve and pursue dreams in the most difficult of circumstances. She became an R.N. a year after the twins were born. She is a professional woman in the humblest of circumstances. Many a night she has been called to sit with a dying patient. She is so caring and loving.This is an excerpt from a blog post I did in April 2010. This was a tribute to my third daughter, Shaniel, for her 30th birthday. Little did I know she would be taken from us, by an act of domestic violence by her husband, less than 3 years later.
When a loved one passes, everything in your life changes in an instant. I can no longer pick up the phone and call her. I can no longer hear her voice, her laughter. I can no longer hold her precious, caring hands. I can no longer see her smile or listen to her jokes. I can no longer play games and eat lunch with her. I can no longer hug her and tell her I love her. Life is different for me. A piece of my heart is gone. There is a constant ache that never goes away. A child is the most precious gift a mother receives in life. Yearnings to have her near are intense on occasion. Just like they are right now. It only takes a memory, a picture, a smell... something that triggers the senses, and it all comes back like a flood.
And then... in an instant I can see her vividly in my mind. I can feel her spirit in my heart. She is alive in my memories. And then a friend reminds me... Shaniel is here! She is all around us.
".. .you can pick up the phone and talk to her oldest daughter, that is where her voice is shared, you can listen to the twins laugh at play, that is where her laughter was left, you can hold the hands of each of her children and you will feel her imprint left there. Her smile and her jokes are all inner twined in those kids. Shaniels sweet spirit may be with her Heavenly Father, but so many of her attributes were left here on this earth in those children of hers. What a treasure, a keepsake for you to lean on and draw from."I am still so proud of Shaniel, and always will be. It's not so much as what she accomplished, but the woman she became. The heavens are lucky to have her! She was an angel on earth, and continues to be in heaven. I am quite sure she has received many of her patients, that she cared for here on earth, on the other side. And and I know she will be the first to greet me. I look forward to our reunion and a long awaited hug!
It only took an instant for life to change, and it takes only one evil person, one act... to change everything you thought was right in the world. I have to admit, I have had my moments of anger. But with work, and lots of it... and faith, hope, and forgiveness, my heart is learning to heal. With God on my side, the impossible truly does become possible.
Mom, thank you so much for the post. Brought a tear to my eye! I love you and thank you for making me feel special! --Shaniel's comment
Love your children like it's the last day... you never know when they will be taken from you!
Graduation day, May 2008 - Shaniel, R.N.
